Award winning Gospel singer and songwriter, Kirk Franklin confessed to being addicted to pornography many years ago. It was a shock to both the Christian and secular communities because most people believe that Christians are immune to falling into sins which have such drastic consequences. For this reason, I’m sure many Christian women wonder if their husbands could become prey to the same monster that threatened to destroy Kirk Franklin’s marriage.
While it’s typical for Christian men to get lost in the deceptive world of pornography, Christian women often can become victims to this very same sin. You may ask: “How can a Christian woman go this far by getting caught up into pornography?” There are many reasons. She:
- Could have been exposed to pornography as a child by a family member or friend.
- Mistakenly stumbled over a magazine/Internet site as a child or in her youth
- Experimented as an adult before or after marriage
- Watches racy shows such as Desperate Wives, soap operas, or other shows and movies with very pornographic undertones.
Being exposed to all these things can weave a web of pain, deceit, and unfortunately a curiosity which causes a woman to crave more of what is forbidden. While many women believe they have good intentions when watching pornography, it can usher them to a secret world that is very difficult to escape from.
Furthermore, pornography is readily available on TV and on the computer; so one wrong click or change of the remote can change the course of your destiny for the worse.
The devil would love to use pornography as a method for destroying marriages and so many other things in a woman’s life because it’s very subtle and seductive at first. Pornography presents its way as an escape from reality, but the problem is that in most cases, once a woman takes that journey, it’s so hard to get back on track. It can grow into a stronghold, (a trap set up by the enemy to keep you in bondage), that constantly needs to be fed. To do this, the enemy provides the following lies. He says that pornography can:
1. “Stimulate and increase sexual desire and passion within your marriage.”
Many times I have found myself glancing at a magazine, as I’ve stood in the grocery checkout line, when I see a headline which says, “Find out How Porn Can Strengthen Your Relationship!” While watching porn might make you feel more erotic, it ultimately causes you to focus on the sexual activity rather than pleasing your husband.
2. “Cause you to desire your husband more.” When you watch porn, you don’t see your husband performing the sexual activity, but some other man with some other woman. Porn causes you to focus on the image of the men (or women) you saw in the video.
3. “Helps you to become more intimate with your husband.”
Intimacy involves sharing your heart, mind, body, and spirit with your husband. If anything, watching porn can destroy the intimacy you’ve built with your husband because you’re no longer sharing yourself exclusively with your husband. But now you’re sharing it with a fantasy that you’ve created based on what you’ve seen in the video or an image. In essence you’re committing mental adultery.
4. “You’re not hurting anyone.”
Yes you are! In addition to hurting yourself by pulling away from God and hindering your relationship with Him, you’re separating yourself from you husband. Why? Because you’re constantly focusing on the pornography, the images you’ve seen, and the sounds you’ve heard. In fact, it could cause you to make unfair comparisons between your husband and the unrealistic men you see. And what happens if your children catch you watching porn? What happens if they get exposed to it and become addicted?
5. “It’s not addictive.” This is probably the most deceptive lie the enemy tells people. While a woman may be able to watch soap operas, videos, and the Internet, a few times without running back to it, each time she views this type of perverted media, it chips away at her integrity. It also gives her a perverted perception of sex and other people. It also puts something in her heart that will eventually draw her back to the forbidden fruit of pornography. It can be just as addictive as crack or heroine.
For this reason, addiction to pornography requires a strong desire to seek deliverance. You must apply action through:
- Prayer for deliverance (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
- Fasting, when necessary (Matthew 17:21).
- Bible study/research (2 Timothy 2:15)
- Outside help such as Christian counseling, and/or a trusted female accountability partner who
cares about you and is rooted in Christ. (Proverbs 11:14)
While watching pornography can be very detrimental to a woman’s family, her fellowship with Christ, heart, and her marriage, deliverance is possible. In fact, Kirk Franklin, who was delivered from the destructive power of pornography, is now a witness that all things are possible through Christ. These “all things” don’t just include celebrities, but they also include you and any issues you may struggle with, including pornography!
Tiffany Godfrey, also known as the Committed Wife, is very passionate about helping to save Christian marriages by encouraging Christian women.